![]() Now it is sticky and messy when you are in a hurry to shave and get to work. When she used to leave the sink full of toothpaste, it was childlike and playful. Now, it’s irritating that you have to pick up after him. Previously, the fact he leaves his clothes all around the room was cute and showed his carefree attitude. You begin to notice some things you never observed before or what you did see begins to bother you. The next stage of the relationship is the working stage. During this stage, your energy increases and you become aroused, and even obsessed with the person to the point your friends get tired of listening to your ravings about him or her. You cannot stop thinking about them, love everything about them and find yourself smiling out loud and then embarrassed because you realize you are in public and think others can read your mind. You meet someone and you are immediately infatuated with them. ![]() This is of course a simplified process, but falling in love begins with the honeymoon phase. With the “falling in love” process, there are stages that may differ from an arranged marriage. They are the honeymoon phase, the working phase and the commitment phase. Here I will use the stages I use when counseling couples. ![]() There are many ways of dividing relationships into stages. Agencies that are set up to match couples may be a better choice. Although I’m not privy to any, there may be dating sites that are reliable and you can trust that the profile is accurate and meeting the person is safe. The screening process for marriage portals is much more complex and those who put up their profile are looking for marriage, not someone to date or with whom to create a sexual relationship. ![]() In the US, there is even a TV show about this called Catfish. Many people I have talked with and my own experience is that many profiles on the dating sites are either false or exaggerated. There is a difference though between dating site and marriage portals. Some of the largest dating sites in the US are and. So, could it be that arranged marriage is a more sensible way to pair up for life? What about falling in love? As I listened to the way the couples were paired, it sounded a lot like dating sites to me. The Global Divorce rate for Arranged Marriages is 4 %. According to UNICEF (August 16, 2012) the Divorce Rate for Arranged Marriages in India is 1.1 %. Some would scoff at this process and have many reasons to argue against it, saying it wouldn’t work but statistics say different. If there was a harmonious connection, the young couple met a few more times to test the compatibility. Afterward, they invited the family and the young woman to meet their son. The parents then met with the young woman. The groom’s parents also ordered astrological charts so the astrologer could find who would be harmonious with their son. ![]() In this case, the groom was able to see the profiles and make some choices. Questionnaires were completed online to make the correct match and then profiles of several choices for a possible mate were delivered. This is the process she went through for her son, although it may be different in other arranged marriages. She explained that what happens in an arranged marriage is the family signs up on a marriage portal to find a suitable partner for their daughter or son. She said that her son was marrying and it was an arranged marriage. Narrowly making it through the pedestrians, motorcycles, bikes and street dogs, I carefully listened to her as she shared it all. The streets were full of a cacophony of honking and shouting as we maneuvered around other cars, taxis, motorized rickshaws and cycle rickshaws. While my friend sat upfront with the driver, I sat in the back of the relatively new car with his sister. My friend’s sister, the groom’s mother, picked us up after sunset to take us shopping in preparation for the ceremonies. What I didn’t know was how much I didn’t know about Hindu weddings. My flight took me from Spokane to Seattle, to Dubai and to Calcutta. When an invitation came from a friend of mine to attend his nephew’s wedding in Calcutta, I jumped at the chance. Article in PDF ( Download) Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage? What will it be? by Dr. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |